For most people, dealing with financial issues is loaded with many emotions. When things get out of control, the emotions can get out of control also.  When things are going well, everything seems just fine.  But, when money gets tight, people naturally get more stressed-out.  And, money problems don’t usually happen overnight.  Usually, the money problems start with a few issues.  You start juggling your bank accounts to pay the bills each month, then, the money in the bank disappears faster.  Then, you might use one credit card to pay another.  That’s when the alarms should start going off.  Can you start to lower some expenses?  If you continue down that path, your debt could spiral.

What got you there?  Many times, each month, you were just running short on the bare necessities, food, rent or mortgage, utilities.  So, you borrowed from your credit cards or other loans to make up the difference.  Then, the credit card balances go up, and keep going up.  Then, you struggle to make the payments, and, with some late payments, the interest rates skyrocket.  If you ignore the problem, it will only get worse.

So, you need to deal with your money problems.  But first, you need to recognize the emotions that you begin to feel.

You might feel shame that you couldn’t keep on paying your bills, and you might think about bankruptcy.  But you are ashamed that you’d have to do such an extreme thing.

You might feel guilty that you won’t hold up your end of the bargain, that somehow you are a bad person because you’d have to “get out of” paying the bills.  After all, you got the loans or credit cards, and you have the responsibility to pay the debt back, right?

You might feel like a failure.  You failed to make enough money to pay your bills.  You failed to live up to your expectations.  You never wanted to fail at anything, much less your own personal financial life.   Even though some things that caused your money troubles were beyond your control, you still feel like a failure.

And, you are embarrassed.  You are a successful adult.  You might have gotten married, raised kids, worked many jobs, made a career. But, you are thinking you weren’t so successful.  What would people think if they found out you went bankrupt? That’s only for losers, right?

Then, you become defensive; it wasn’t your fault, and you might argue with your loved ones.  It can’t be your fault!  But, you are defensive, because you are blaming yourself.

These are all normal emotions to feel!  Don’t deny them! Recognize them, and know that you are not failing at life.  You had some bumps in the road, and need to deal with the problems, get over the bumps, and deal with the money problems head-on.

You might be able to dig out, and reduce some of your expenses.  You might be able to make a budget to see where the money goes each month.  Talk with others you trust.  You aren’t alone.  You can get through it, but you need to stop blaming yourself.  Not only is it not helpful, it makes you feel worse.  You need to figure out what to do from where you are, what next?

We can help you sort through the money problems, and come up with solutions. We know it’s a very stressful, emotional, difficult time.  We will help give you “peace of mind”.